Jesus, David, and John, they all had something in common.  They all felt abandoned.  How about you?  Have you ever felt abandoned?  By God? By a friend, mentor, family member?  I think we all have felt this way at one time or another. As I reflect on 2016, I find myself seeing all the abandonment that happened in the last 365 days.  I honestly feel that God abandoned me.

It’s not a painted picture that is pleasing to my eyes. Others may look at my life vicariously through Facebook or other social media and think all is well with Connie.  Nope!  Truth is, I am broken and I have abandoned God. The people that hurt me, that abandoned me, that couldn’t stick around and fight it out with me, they left because I didn’t fulfill something they needed on earth or they didn’t like the way I spoke the truth or whatever reason they had that I may never know.  I speak about what they did to me, and then I look at what I did to God.  I abandoned God because He didn’t fulfill something that I wanted or thought I needed and what He promised to me.  God says that’s okay, “I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.”  (Hebrew 13:5).  I have left God, as much as it hurts me to say that.  It’s the truth.  Recently, in fact, it hasn’t been much of me and God.  My heart isn’t right.  God understands where my head and my heart is right now, it’s not for us to understand, but I ask, “where are you, God?

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One thing I can tell you unless you have EXPERIENCED the pain, the hurt, the anguish of rejection, or abandonment, you will never understand where my head and heart is.  I know that growth begins with admission, here I am in the flesh, I am very vulnerable right now and not in a good place, yet God is telling me to write and I can tell you and God I don’t want to write.

Even though I am not in the right place of my heart and my head, I am thankful to know that I am not the only one who felt abandoned by God. I will sit next to Jesus, David and John feeling this same abandonment any day of the week because I know and believe in the One that will never leave me and who understands me. And, that is God who is working diligently to help me understand where He is taking me.

2017 is hours away, it’s a new chapter, a clean page to begin writing.  I will say some will not like me, some will defriend me, some will abandon me, some I will abandon, some will not agree with me. Honestly, I am not okay with that. People say, “well they weren’t meant to be in your life, or they are missing out.”  While that may be the truth, it doesn’t take the hurt away that was left behind.

As 2017 approaches me, I am not making new years resolutions, I am not making empty promises, I am, however, making a commitment to myself and to God.  I may be alone on this earth, but I am not alone in Spirit.  I am thankful and I am blessed.  I will move forward and get over this small mountain I am facing.  I am believing that God has something big for 2017.

So when you are searching deep into your core, remember this, you are not required to be a leader of a ministry.  You are not required to be a part of a church.  You are not required to read your bible.  Is it healthy to be part of a church, yes, absolutely!   I strongly suggest that you do to grow your relationship with God, but ultimately it is your choice to make the change that God desires for you to change.  I would also suggest that you make sure your heart is right before you make decisions with where you feel God is leading you.

Following God is not a requirement, it is a choice and a true blessing.

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The following are a few verses for you to follow up with to see where Jesus, David, and John all felt abandoned.  Also, there are verses that encourage us to never stop crying out to God and to continue to trust and believe in His promises for us, even though the storm is present.

Jesus felt abandoned:  Mark 15:34 Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

Psalm 22:1-3 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.

 David felt abandoned: Psalm 13:1-2 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

John felt abandoned: Matthew 11:2-4 John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?” Jesus told them, “Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

Never stop crying out to God.

Psalm 71:9-12 Do not reject me in my old age! When my strength fails, do not abandon me! For my enemies talk about me; those waiting for a chance to kill me plot my demise. They say, “God has abandoned him. Run and seize him, for there is no one who will rescue him!” O God, do not remain far away from me! My God, hurry and help me!

Jeremiah 14:9 Are you also confused? Is our champion helpless to save us? You are right here among us, Lord. We are known as your people. Please don’t abandon us now!

1 Peter 5:6-7 And God will exalt you in due time, if you humble yourselves under his mighty hand by casting all your cares on him because he cares for you.

Nehemiah 8:10 “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

From my heart to you, abundant blessings, and Happy New Year!

Connie Ann

“Keep Smiling and Have Faith”

 

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